When i die

Hypothetical conversation if i die and go to heaven.

my eyes open
me: i am fucked!!

pretending to recover from head injury that was the cause of my death.

Me: Mein Khan hoon?
St peter aka yamdoot etc etc....: TUM pearly gates pe ho vats
m: par mera naam vats nahi hai
SP: yeh mazaak karne ka waqt nahi hai. acha tumne zindagi mein kya kuch kiya
M: bahut kuch sir. meine logon ko help kiya kabhi apni biwi ko dhoka nahi diya i was a good boy Sp
SP:lekin beta tumne bhagwan ko kabhi kyun nahi maana
M: time hi nahi mila uncle
sp: sorry par aap bhagvan mein invest nahi karoge to kaise chalega?
M: chaliye ab pata chal gaya thank you...
and since god is just waiting to forgive you even at the last minute cheeky me will walk alongside him in the kingdom of heaven...