Quick question

Ok so here is the deal. i was wondering if i wrote a book how many of you who read this blog would read it. I promise to edit it type set it and on the whole make it free for download. I figured i write about gods andwhat not always why not make thi stream of thought into a novel what say?

Renegotiation proof Equilibrium and God

This long drawn out silence i have maintained can be attributed to the fact that i was away, down& out and in the dumps and on cloud nine at the same time since i last blogged. You might imagine that that is a lot of places to be and many statuses to enjoy and my honest answer to that is well... yes it is.

The current return i can wholly attribute to my girlfriend who got me thinking about renegotiation proof equilibrium and god. See if renegotiation is costless they colluding firms would meet again and again to renegotiate an agreement and therefore they would always have incentive to cheat because it wouldn't be in the suffering firm's interest to punish the other at it's own cost. I believe the same applies for praying.
If you pray and "god" doesn't grant your wishes you will always go back to god to ask for more the next day. And regardless of how many times he 'cheats' on you it is in your interest to go back and ask for whatever it is you want this time around.
She thinks it seems fair enough since anyway one's relation with god according to her can usually be boiled down to one of "you watch my back /give me things i ask for". things sort of balance out for god by permitting him cheating.

btw my girlfriend hates economics.

Aiyyo Jyokea!!

What do you do when you need to get through a door, its locked, you don't have the key and the only one around is me?

Ram a prasad

Intense keratin related questions in my mind

1] can you get dandruff in your mustache ?
2] if you did would you use a shampoo?
3]what kind of shampoo? normal or dandruff shampoo?
4]why don't you shave?
5]Wouldn't i be a bitch if it would be there regardless?

Bored out of your wits?

i would imagine that god must be one bored guy/gal/god....??? But before you get excited bout god's gender or godliness, let me tell you this post is about th fact that he is all pervasive, all knowledgeable... and clearly bored. God can't be excited about anything right? i mean he/she knows what is going to happen from the beginning of time to its end. so whats the point? plus he/she knows that even if he/she changes anything he/she will still know what is going to change at all dimensions. i am assuming if god has a friend with whom he watches the world he must feel like a person watching a film for the second time.. either that or he must feel like Marvin the paranoid android.

Two Observations

1] How do you explain Chikki to someone who hasn’t heard of the concept? Do you just call it a groundnut sweet bar or granola bar? Some how I am thinking it isn’t the same thing.

2] There is something called ‘Beggar thy Neighbor Policy’ where a country exports its unemployment. I wonder how different it would be from that if I tried getting married to a hot woman who had a lot of money and just needed someone to take care of the kid and the ‘home’. Would that qualify as exporting my unemployment??

Joke i just made up

1]What would you call Sufi music if it was silly or ridiculous?

Ans] Goofy Music

The number twenty five (rantings of a senile fart)

Many apologies to the three people who read this blog.. i have been bogged down with much work, what with my finals and all that. oh by the by i just turned twenty five.. i know it is interesting to know that while at this age my closest friends would have worked for two years, i on the other hand with the way i am going don't intended to do much work till i am at least 26, at the earliest that is....

people often ask me if my male pride is not hurt? at which point i try to look for it and realize i misplaced it somewhere as usual, curse my self for drinking too much the previous night and sing fee fi fo fum to the tune of the latest Beyonce number..

Ironically this is the twenty fifth entry on my blog

Moral of the story: Twenty five year olds lie. You can't loose male pride due to alcohol. It is a myth . studies conducted at the University of South Chegalpettai District prove no positve correlation between the two.

Why I love Orkut..........

1] It has an about me section where you can write what a great guy you are.
2]It has a testimonial section where other people can say what a great guy you are.
3]it has a fans section about how many people think what a great guy you are.
4]it has a photos section which you can use o show what a great looking guy you are. if not you could always play the i like my privacy card and either put a picture of a flower or one which was taken on a camera phone when they first came out.
5]Its strangely addictive even though it serves the same purpose as a mail id and has the same number of steps to get in touch with a person. Only difference being on Orkut every conversation is public which can then show every person on Orkut what a great guy you are!

A day At the mall

It is Spring break and while the rest of my university(read young undergrads fly away to coastal retreats, to indulge in many a drunken abandon). i decided or more importantly, my wallet decided with an iron fist, that we (my wallet and i) would not go any where.
Therefore like every loser in town who has nothing to do My friend Shriram and i (no i don't call my wallet that) went to the local mall.We were fortunate enough to come across the following objects sold at our mall.Mind you I live in a small town in Texas.
1) Mooda(yes the same old faithful stool that we have spent many a winter oiling our heads in the sun on )
2) Native American Arts and Crafts (Made in China)
3) Hemchampa Agarbatti

Hmm.. Interesting..... What are you gonna throw at me next god?? That Jesus was just a Sardar drying his hair???

people are crazy and times are strange.....

ok these are the kind of comments people have left in the past on this blog. And i thought i was erratic and strange!!!!

4:29 PM

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Strange things i have actually done!!

1] Acted in a television serial. ( i played the role of the lead actors brother's friend. As i would like to believe, vital to the central plot of this drama. which i last heard, became a murder mystery)

2]Auditioned for voice overs for discovery channels Hindi dubbing, about Hawaiian canoes.

3]Sat through Super hit Mukabala, the day they promised Micheal Jackson would come on it and instead VJ Nonie came on .

4] Got drunk with friends on a railway overbridge.

5] poked a cow's butt for a bet

6] learned tables upto 40

7] learned squares upto 40

8] Sat through a prayer with Mormon nuns while they asked me what religion i was and then ask me how Jesus fit into Hinduism????

9] Got drunk with my closest buddy and pissed in his neighbor's flowers and the decided to unite India and Pakistan.

Yeeehaw!!!

Hello all you jobless people who read this blog. i am back(no that is not my name). Recently returned from Home land and back n American dreamland for gruelling semester i feel compelled to write briefly about my trip back and A certain Saras Chechi Who happens to be a little mischievous aunt of mine who walks around with a pin to deflate your ego and an evil smile( entirely for herself). also till i figure out a way to put a link on my blog here it is. Those of you who have taste in good writing..

www.sarasmeandersat.blogspot.com

My Brother and i went to a barber shop to get him a haircut and i have told you in earlier posts how i am a Chakka magnet. i have nothing against them (also mentioned earlier).
this is almost the end of my trip home an i am wondering how not one has found me as yet. And lo and behold(i have always wanted o say that... its funny how such phrases don't enter every day conversations) there they were at the door of the shop.
One of them instantly asked me for money and i told him i had none, when out of nowhere this other guy says 'Usse chhod do woh student hai'(all you filthy minded bums he meant leave him alone...).
'Woh student hai'??? i mean what is it with my face and student hai.

Is there a minimum facial hair requirement to be looked at as non student.

As the extortionist of the group went to the owner for money my so called Saviour came to me and introduced himself as Badramma and shook hands with me. Rather polite chap.

Moral of the story: There is no moral this was merely a Luke warm anecdote

PP&SLSII

I also just figured by saying you will be famous after you are dead means you can always ride the boat of humility.

Drama: See all i am saying is i'll be famous after i am dead.
Innocent by stander forced into a conversation with me by the power of the fact that i write this blog: Don't be so Cocky Yaar! (yes we are friends)
D:yeah but realise the irony i will never be able to enjoy it.
IBS: True True..

And by brute injustice of posthumous fame the person doesn't blame you for being a concieted brat!!

Posthumous Pleasure and Shit luck Soup

Haven't you wondered, It would be such a bitch if you became famous after you died. i mean the bastards just did't get it, and the day you kicked the bucket you became a sort of demigod.
Talk about bad timing.I am sure Mozart dosn't give a rats ass about how many CD's of his people make love to( it is true i have seen a Mozart for lovermaking CD).

I have a feeling i will be one of the bove mentioned.

revenge of the red tape and mediocre service

ok so ever wondered what happens behind the scenes when in ramayan or mahabharath one of those fellows in war raised an arro to his forehead and sadi a little prayer and it magically transformed into a super duper multiple arrow or flaming arrow or golden arrow which could oh so kick the flaming silver arrow. Ok if you were born anytime in the nineties and haven't seen maha bharath or ramayan on dd.... sue your parents now for a deprieved childhood . Anyway i was wondering imagine a god who was granting all these weapons of mass destruction and his office. people constantly filing requests for silver and golden and arrows that multiply like they were chinese people or hould i say indian. and the mess ups .

Hypothetical setting in Ramayan:

Call CentreExecutive:Hello thank you for calling shiv ji fire crackers this is Molly speaking how may i help you.
Ravan: Dekhiye madam meine shiv ji se golden arrow pucha tha and you gave me silver one.
Pichle paanch baar se mein prarthna kar chuka hoon lekin raam yahan meri vat baje ke rakh raha hai. aur pichle baar to engaged tone aa gaya hai matlab hadd ho gayi!!
CCE: could you please hold the line.
R: ....
CCE: actually we have checked our lines this could be a problem with your local towers this tends to happen due to conjestion we are having a lot of traffic nowadays .
R: pehli baat to yeh ki "drop the fucking accent, i know your name is malleshwari"
aur doosri bat ki pichli baar bhi apne yehi kaha tha( and he puts his phone down to go back into batle and loose the war and sita {who he has abducted} to a guy called Ram- bo.)

Moral of the story:
There is no justice in this world but lots of bureaucracy..... loads buhahahaha.

Mujhse dosti karoge..

So i recenty checked out the night life of the town i live in. We a bunch of brave desi boys(mostly imaciated) and girls made our way to the local night spot. After a few expensive rounds of beer(a whole crate of which is available in the gas station two shops away for the same price) we all start dancing all the while my desi sensibilities aware of the six and half foot gorrila like creatures dancing around me(read big white texans) . Little have i realised but the table i am leaning on (i am old as far as dancing through the night is concerned i have realised i can only last for so long.... twenty four is such a revalation.. my sweet aiyyappa) has two women who are scantily dressed and have their ahem.. do excuse my language, private parts rather close to my face. all through this while i am stangely reminded of my days in delhi where i used to shit bricks getting into a blue line and start screaming 'excuse me' even before i got into the bus so that the aunty who if you brushed up against even by mistake, would start screamng at you, wouldn't do what she does best, scream. So being the Sambar eating southie that i am i politely excused my self and left the table with beer for the ladies to dance on.


Moral of the story: Sambar eating sensibilities and hot scntly dressed women dancing on your table are are a great combination if you havn't been scarred for life on a Blue line bus.

Sniffle Sniffle Sob Sob...

Movie Bonanza!!!

All hail SNAKES ON A PLANE!!!!!
and you thought jaani dushman would stay worst film of the century forever!!!! guess sam jackson has given armaan kohli run for his money ...

The bonanza bit i just always wanted to use that word thats all..

How i wish things lke this happened.....

ok i am now officially screwed i am sittin here in a library in my univ, and for the love of anything god , cheap booze or my mother's amazing cinnamon cake, i can't seem to understand why i am doing a PhD? See i am a simple man who wanted to be called a Dr. Ramaprasad. But little did i realise you get ass rodded for the same. I figured i would be hangin around when suddenly a pretty lady would faint due to 'economic' reasons and i would give her CPR. My friend who plans on getting a doctorate in sociology and i have decided to start an enterprise of our own which would then broadly cover the realm of socio-economic problems.
though currently my only hope is the doctor who is responsible for CPR due to ass rodding is a pretty lady otherwise i am ....hmmm....

self depreciating humour part 2

i suffered last morning from actute abdominal pain and was rushed to the hospital where i was given a injection of something (which i wanted to be adrenelin though i think was not). anyway my mum said it could be appendicitis.

Symptoms of a normal patient suffering from appendicitis:

· Generalized abdominal cramps.
· Nausea or vomiting.
· Elevated temperature.
· Increased pulse rate.
· Loss of appetite.
· Constipation.
· Abdominal swelling.

ok i had abdominal pain so thats cool. no nausea. normal temperature. BP 120/80. Had eaten perfectly the night before. crapped nicely. and well if you have ever seen me the only swelling on my body was my ego which too fizzled out when the doc told my dad that it was a case of GAS. apparently it was building up for too long.. inside me and needed a vent.